Radical RevLa: The Softer Side Of Man

When a man hurts its felt by all

I noticed something about myself...I tend to feel that man or shall I say men in general don't hurt. While I know this is not true we all do but sometimes to me I get the impression that they are so strong that nothing can hurt them. Maybe its just because a man approaches life in the offensive mode. He just looks at life and the people in his life in a way that will keep them always on the defense. This way he never has to defend himself.


If that is his life's strategy then really its a good one because as a woman I have been defending myself on everything. And honestly its usually a man that has place me in that general direction. The other thing about men they stick together. They never let you see them sweat or allow their buddies to be caught in a way that was not "Manly". While us women will allow each other to sink and then attempt to drown you as you are trying to swim to shore a man won't do that even to his enemy. Once he and his enemy have had words then they are off to bigger and better things.


So when you see a man let go of his control and appear lost and alone it really hurts. It somehow makes the world seem unbalance. I've been seeing it lately with our present economy. Many men who took pride in working hard and caring for their families are now in a state where they have lost their jobs. No matter how hard they try they can't get one or make ends meet. This takes a toll on a man's self esteem. Many of them are now changing roles. They find themselves as the housekeepers, babysitters, stay at home dads. Or they are the ones making the morning coffee and waving good bye at the door as their wives drive off to work.


This is a sad state of affairs. In no way do I want the man to loose his true identity. I've seen men walking around with their heads down and just trying anything to provide. Providing and protecting is a God given instinct for the male as is nurturing and providing care and attention is to a woman. While it makes you blink twice to see men on TV talking about the plight of the Average Man in this present economy it makes my heart hurt to see them break down and cry. Who knew that they could feel and hurt so deeply?


Recently for the first time in over 35 years my husband was laid off for a short period of time. I watched him walking around slightly unsure of himself. He was devastated and really couldn't get a grip of his role. He being a proud and very strong man never depended on anyone to provide for his family. He being a true man of God knew that it was He who would get him through to the next level. But for the first time I saw him hurt. I saw his steady world shaken up. Suddenly his world was not moving in the way he thought it would. He questioned his placement in the family and he was just not sure of what he should do. 


He faced a double whammy. While being very fit and strong able to do the work of men so much younger than he now his age was working against him. He was a man that was always the leader and in charge while at work. Now he was looking for entry level and was so over qualified. He could have retired and enjoyed himself this he never looked at because this was a man who loved to work and take care of his home. He questioned how I looked at him. Face it he is married to me!!! Being who I am could not help his feeling of lost and confusion.


Being the strong woman that I am I was ready to just say enjoy it and rest awhile. You see my husband would never take a vacation unless I forced him. He never missed a day no matter how sick he was. He worked for the same company for 25 years and then moved to another company and was there for 10. This man worked extra and would work side work. He was and is active in our church and ministry and in a gospel singing group. He flat out said that he was not ready to come home and sit. 


While I admired him for being who he is I just about lost it. It took all that I had to keep my big mouth shut. In my spirit all I could yell was "REALLY GOD HE 'S THE ONE WHO WANTS TO WORK....I'M THE ONE WHO WANTS TO COME HOME....AND NOW I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO WORKKKKKKKKKKKK ....THIS IS NOT FAIRRRRRRRR!!!" I know bad RevLa...very very bad Revla. But guys I didn't say any of this. Nor did I baby him. I hurt so bad looking in his eyes and seeing his world changing and he had no control of it. I told him that it didn't matter. That I loved him with all of my heart and I would do whatever it took to keep things going and whatever he needed me to do I would do....(I know good RevLa for a change....lol).


I gave him a honey-do list that would make your head spin. Finally I could get some of the renovations that I needed done on our home. I also told him that if he needed to just do nothing that was alright with me as well. I keep a straight face when I got up at 5am to get ready for work as he slept. I was grateful for the coffee that he had set to perk when I was ready to walk out the door. I refused to cry and feel sorry for myself because I had to work and still do all the other things including update my blogs. I would not give into the need in me to just go into a depression because I felt everything was so unfair.


I enjoyed coming home and dinner was ready. It felt funny having him talking about what he had done and read or saw on TV. I wanted to just yell and say "be quiet I need a moment" but could see how lonely he was not being use to being at home. I saw a softer side of him that I would have never seen if it was not for this present situation. So I could no longer see him like this. I did the only thing that I knew would work. I decided to "make war on the floor". I got on my knees and asked God to give him his hearts desire. I wanted him to be happy in whatever life had to offer him. So I just thank God for the victory and just kept saying "thank you Lord for my husband's new job".


Then one day I came home and saw him also on his knees. I saw a peace come over him and for the first time since the lay-off I saw him take a deep breath and let it go. He was okay. He had accepted what life had thrown at him and because I took on the role of his wife and supported him (and trust  me for a woman such as I this was difficult) I stayed in my place as ordered by God he was able to deal with what he had been dealt.  He changed before my very eyes and accepted changed. He returned back to the man that he had always been.


Then just like that he was back to work. Happy as ever and now knowing that his true wealth was in his Christ Jesus. If this was to ever happen again he knows that it has nothing to do with who he is. That he is always the King in this castle! 
This incident also changed me because I am seeing men in a different light. It was good for me to see that they do feel and when they do they feel deeply. I was able to hold my tongue and to not wallow in my own self pity. For once I didn't fight against my placement as a helpmate to my husband. For once I was able to go to God with confidence knowing that He would provide my husband what he needed and wanted. While I'm not glad that he had to deal with this but I'm glad that he came through strong and will never look at what the world gives him as his marker for who he is.


Ladies I leave you with this:
While men are arrogant and sometimes hit below the belt this world is really putting them in a place that they have never dealt with before. Its hard out here for us but for some reason I feel we were built to endure the hard things in life. Meaning the hard things that hurt your heart and rip at your soul and then be able to place it in a compartment and keep moving in a forward direction. Men may get on your last nerve but when they are lost and that soft side is expose its sad and it hurts. Trust me I was ready to rip the world a new one when I saw my man suffering. But I also know that he needed this experience so that he could build up his faith and know without a shadow of doubt who was the source of his wealth. We must pray for our men and for our world. We must stand strong for them and fight in the best way we know how and that is to make that "war on the floor" and then pull satan's kingdom down. 


I won't end this post bad. I will just say that as the world changes and things look grim remember that our God can do all things but fail!


Okay that was far too nice....Lord I just have to get this off my chest
Really God....I am the one who wants to come home....can we make this happen?...
Now did you really think I would leave in such a nice way?
Gotta love me
RevLa

Radical RevLa: New Beginnings

His Mercies are brand new each and everyday


Good Bye 2011 and Good Riddance
Embracing myself in 2011 was very difficult to say the least. It started out on a low as far as my family dynamics went. As that new year rolled onto the scene I found myself stumbling around attempting to find out just who I was. As I slowly discovered Radical RevLa I ran into dead ends, opened doors, and reaching for the Gifts that God had in place for me. I must admit as I walked the walk in 2011 I began to shed old parts of myself and gain brand new ones.

January 2011 I rededicated my life to doing the Will of Christ and entered into a Daniel fast. The fast was being conducted by several churches around the country and I just felt that I needed something to get me going. Believe it or not I had the strange idea that 2010 had been a very difficult year and was determined to embrace 2011 with a clear and positive  attitude. So off to the fast. From Jan. 8th until Jan. 21st found me doing my best to maintain a fast from the pits of #@!! (shut your mouth....well I didn't say it). Right then and there I found a greater respect for Daniel no wonder he could go into a lions den and have great faith the man invented that fast!!!

But really all jokes aside it took everything I had to do it and come out on the other end sane. Once the fast was completed I found a better working relationship with my husband and grown children. I now knew who I was and was ready to take over my Radical world. In fact by March of 2011 I became Radical Revla after becoming a member of She Writes. I was so lonely looking for me that God guided me stumbling all the way to this fantastic group of dynamic women. It was here that He showed me where I was heading but again I didn't have a clue.

God brought me to the Internet in such a way that my husband and I were able to bring our entire marriage and relationship ministry to the world of the net. I was excited and started working more than ever. While being an active part of She Writes I was thrown into fast forward "How to write" college in 30 days. By May 2011 we had our loveazine going and our marriage ministry was in full force. I was still preaching and meeting controversy but had gained a strength that would not allow me to give into the evil works of man.  

 Radical Revla had found her voice and there was no turning back. By June 2011 God walked us into another form of ministry on the Internet and FEELING GOD SOCIAL NETWORK was started. I had learned from my crash course at She Writes and learned how to create a mini-ning network. While this adventure has been one of the hardest things I've ever done it has also been very rewarding. At the same time all the ministries were rolling right along and who knew I was able to start writing the great American fiction novel. September 2011 found me on such a wonderful high.
Super Radical Revla
She could leap tall buildings at a single jump. She could do 100 difficult jobs all at the same time and never need any rest. Nothing could stop the momentum of Super Radical Revla.
Then good old 2011 decided to throw the old girl some curve balls. Things became difficult. The world as I once knew it was coming to an end. Choices that I needed to make had to be reevaluated and I could no longer put them off. Some things were going to end while others would begin. I felt like I was rolling down the side of a high mountain at top speed and could not stop the momentum. 

By October 2011 I lost my Mom and by December 2011 I lost one of my little brothers. My world was spinning out of control. People around me that I knew was dying and friends that I thought was with me were being replaced or left behind. My Children were living their adult lives and my husband and I were grandparents. We both had reached the great age of 59 and we knew that changes were needed so we could do our assigned work of God.

2011 was becoming a big downer!This was not fun anymore and I was now wishing my so called dream year away with good riddance!
Then when I thought it couldn't get any worse

2012 Rolled In and With It New Beginnings
Another year to do God's Work. Another great year to have hope. Another year to start over. And best of all another year to 
find me.....Radical RevLaThe way I see it is like this:
As long as I continue to look for myself then I will grow. As I grow each year things get better and I get stronger. Its no longer a matter of age, education, or popularity its a matter of accepting His Mercies and Living In His Grace.


So before I end this blog today I would like to just say this:
While each years has its ups and downs continue to look for His Blessings. Look to see what you are suppose to learn then use it to better yourself, family and the world. Remember that Jesus will walk with you all the way and when it gets too hard for you then He will left you in his arms and carry you until you can walk again.
So......
GET READY, SET, AND LET'S JUST GO
2012 WE ARE READY TO JUST
DO IT
NEW BEGINNINGS
CHRIST' WAY





 

Radical RevLa: In Defense of the Black Lady

The Black Woman
There is nothing wrong with being strong


I am a strong Black Lady. A woman of color. A well educated Afro-American Lady. I come from  a family of proud, independent, self-sufficient, and very beautiful Ladies.  Most of all we are God loving and God fearing woman. Brought up to establish a true relationship with Lord Jesus and walk in His Light in all that we do. So what's the big deal?

Black Women are labeled before we walk into a room. We are seen as the angry black woman. Always standing somewhere with our hands on our super large hips or with one on the hip and the other waving that finger that helps us get our point across. While there is really nothing wrong with that image. As a black woman we should not feel bad for some common things that we do however the world automatically thinks that we are all this way. Really if you look at what most black women have to endure day in and day out they have a fair right to be angry.

We are last on the list of people in the human race. We are told that we are not pretty, too fat, too dark, or too light. Our hair is called nappy and unattractive or we all wear weave. We have big breast, big butts, and wide hips. We don't have a brain. We live to slave for a man. We are just not worth the effort. It doesn't matter how much education we have. How long and curly our hair is. How beautiful our skin is. Or how curvy our shapes are we are never considered good enough.

We are laughed at and talked about. Where it comes to the church we are used to build, hold up, and do the work of church building. We fry chicken, fish, turkey and anything we can to sell and make dinners that would make your mouth water. We do this over and over to bring in money for the pastor's dreams of the building fund. We bake, have clothing drives, candy sells and tee shirt fund raisers and before you know it the church travels from the red color of debt to the black balance of debt freedom for God's house. Then after all of their back braking work the church is now growing and money is coming in the pastor would get up and give a sermon on how we are not going to build the church on chicken dinners.

Really pastor is that not how you got the church to its present stability? If these black sisters did not work and give it all that they had your church would still be in the dream stage. We are not given credit for just being who we are. The real us "Ladies". Yes world that's who we really are. Top notched ladies. Smart and hard working. Problem solvers. Faithful and resourceful. Kind and I repeat Kind and Smart. We have run households on no money. We have worked several part-time jobs and sent our children to college. We have started multi-million dollar businesses doing everyday things.

Many black female ministers can preach and teach with the best of them. Many live the word instead of just talking about the word. Many run their churches and households efficiently and never miss a beat. They remain faithful and loyal wives to their husbands and will defend them while fighting for what their spouse's believe in. We have raised the majority of the people of this world regardless of color or nationality. We are so strong that some don't understand that we do hurt, we do cry, we do feel , but we shake it off and keep on going. The majority of us live to raise and love our children in the way of Christian living and attempt to teach them good morals as well as academics.

So world in our defense give us a break. Let us be treated as who we are kind and loving ladies. We have a heart that I feel is very close to God and we are shunned by our own as well as the other races of the world. Stop and look at the contributions made by the black women and then start giving her the respect that she has coming to her. Not only that get another picture of how the true black lady looks and acts. Most of us might be angry  but we still go on doing what's needed and painting that smile on as we push our way to victory regardless of how we are treated.

Give us a break and lots of love we worked hard for it. We are not begging or asking because as you can see even without your respect we still continue to live our lives to the fullest.
All this coming from little radical me!!!
A Black Lady of God

Radical RevLa: Sometimes You Just Need A "Selah" Moment

I DO BELIEVE THIS IS A "SELAH" MOMENT

Recently I learned a new word...ok let me rephrase that I learned to use an old word in a new way! That great new/old word is "Selah". Those of you who read the Psalm would have seen this word but as we have been taught to just ignore it and keep reading. Why were we taught this you ask? Simply because the Psalms are a collection of songs and Selah is put in for the reader/ singer to pause.

I was the guest preacher for Sunday morning service at a wonderful church last week. While preparing my sermon I asked God to give me what He would have me give to that congregation.

Being the radical preacher that I am I always ask the person that has invited me to preach if they have a theme or something that their pastor would like for the church to concentrate on. This way I don't go into my radical world. Well as my luck has it they did not and being me I just said "oh well Lord give it to me and I will deliver it to them." With that said for a week before the service God began to talk to me and the word "Selah" kept coming up. I thought this is not really a true word. Its just a pause right?....but was I so wrong.

When I read up on the word I found that it meant to: take a pause. to reflect, to absorb, take a pregnant pause, to incorporate.  Wow...this word does have meaning. Now I flew back to the Book of Psalm and began to read. I notice that whenever something very important was said then you would see the word Selah. I discovered that they wanted the person singing or reading to stop, pause, absorb, incorporate, allow a pregnant pause...in other words to get what was just said in your system before going to the next phase.

My eyes opened wide. Suddenly I really understood. We need to have a Selah Moment. There are times when we just have to Stop, and see or analyzes what's going on around us. We have to absorb what is being given to us keep the good parts and discard the bad. We have to incorporate the word or the positive into our present being. We have to pause long enough to become pregnant with the promise of the word allowing that seed to grow and produce the blessed harvest. Can you believe that one little over looked word could mean so much?

Well my sermon was on developing a Selah Moment and the pastor of the church was elated. He stated that not only did he see something new but in his close to 80 years he has never heard anyone preach on the word Selah or develop its meaning to a form that we could adapt. He said "only God Himself could give you that!"

I was happy and humbled but very grateful that our Lord chose this radical lady of Christ to deliver that Word in my own way...(trust me I was every bit of my radical self...ha,ha,ha,)

But really this is what I want you to take away from all of this: I learned that you can have a Selah Moment in everything. There have been times since the sermon that I have been approached wrong...my spirit just yelled "Selah". I automatically paused and took a deep breath. I've been ready to scream at my husband, children, or co-workers...I simply stated out loud "Selah" and I paused and just looked at the moment.

So now I have a new mantra....SELAH!!!...this word is going to keep me from going off on the deep end and loosing it. For I know that if I can just take that Selah moment this Radical Child of God and step back and look at what's in front of me with different eyes.

I leave you with this:

When you read the book of Psalm stop and pause when you see the word selah. Go back and see what was said before the word and see what God is trying to tell you pause on that until you receive something. 

Next when somebody or something gets on your very last nerve then just yell (either out loud or in your spirit) "SELAH" and pause. See if God wants you to bash them....(ok bad RevLa that was sooooo wrong in soooooo many ways let me try again) 

See what God will have you do! (now that was so much better...ha,ha,ha)

Trust me just doing those two things will save you alot!

As always stay blessed in the Lord and know that your radical friend is out there doing His Will......

but doing it with my swagger style to it....gotta love me!

I WILL SING OF THE LORD'S GREAT LOVE FOREVER; WITH MY MOUTH I WILL MAKE YOUR FAITHFULNESS KNOWN THROUGH ALL GENERATIONS.....SELAH

PSALM 89:1 (selah added by Me!)

Radical RevLa: I'm Free Just Being Me

Free at Last to just be me. Such great Joy


Why did it take me so long to be free and comfortable just being me?  After all who really could be Radical RevLa but me. I realize now its always been a big job being me.
Not that I'm all that as the young kids would say but looking back over my 59 years of living it has dawned on me that I'm a bit much.

Had I been my own mother I would have ran away from me as quickly as I could. Let's face it God knew all that would be needed to deal with a radical such as I am so He gave me not just one mother but two. One that gave birth to me and one who raised me from the age of 3 months until adulthood. In fact it was the passing away of my mother (the one who loved and raised me and didn't have to) that has sparked this wonderful sense of freedom.

Her passing has had me refelecting on myself as a person. Most of the time I'm so critical about myself. Always looking in the mirror and finding all of the flaws. Too fat, too old, too gray, too, too, too! But this time I've stood in the mirror and said "you know kid you are not that bad" It seemed like once my ears hear those words a feeling of peace over took me. I no longer really cared what anyone said or thought about me. I was free!

Free to live my life as God has called me to do. Free to look the way I want to. Free to loose weight or gain weight or to stay the same it didn't matter because ....guess what? I'm free!!! Oh the joy I feel. The peace I'm enjoying and the love I have gain leaves me speechless...(yeah right!!)

So for those who can not understand why I smile when I know people around me are talking bad about me. For those who can't seem to understand why I dress as if I walked out of a vintage fair on a Sunday morning. For those who just can't seem to understand how I can do a thousand things at one time but look as if I'm doing nothing. Then I will give you my answer
I AM FREE!!!
As Martin Luther King said
"FREE AT LAST ....FREE AT LAST...THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST!!!

THE JOY OF BEING FREE IN MY OWN SKIN
PRICELESS!!!

I Miss Radical RevLa....What about You?

I love roses and my favorite color is pink therefore I see
 Radical RevLa as a continuing blooming pink rose.


I woke up this morning and I suddenly notice that something was missing. I couldn't put my hands on just what it was. I attempted to look around and wonder why I was feeling this way. Could it be that something was out of place? Did a thief come in the night and rob me of something very valuable? Did I misplace something very important and my mind was attempting to let me know? Ok really what could cause me to wake up on such a perfect Autumn day feeling lost or that I had lost?

So I just push this feeling aside and decided that whatever it was it was not important enough for me to remember so I should just get on with my day. The drive to work was uneventful. I said my morning prayers and blessed everyone and everything I could think of. Still I felt as if something was out of order. On the long drive to work I began to take inventory and came up with nothing out of order. I arrived at work and set about my day. I prayed over my office and everyone in the building so I would have a decent day. I opened my computer and before I knew it I was here at this blog.

As you can see I have not had the time to invest in this blog for awhile. I have been assigned to other things and this one had to be put to the wayside. I began to read about this Radical child of God. I could not recognize her because I had not seen or felt her in awhile. Then suddenly it clicked. This was the missing element. Radical RevLa has been asleep for awhile and I needed to wake up the sleeping giant. I knew then that her voice was missing and that she could not be sent out to pasture. That a vital force was placed in cold storage and that it needed to be revived.

Face it ...bottom line
 I missed Radical RevLa!!!

So world I wonder did you miss her too? Did that little piece of crazy logic mixed with Godly wisdom loose its taste in your mouth? Or were you craving just a little more of the Radical Women of the Bible. Or the Radical force of Christ? I missed it and didn't know it. So now that I found the missing link I plan on bringing her back as often as I can. If you missed her then guess what?
SHE'S BACK!!!...IN FULL BLOOM!!!
A RADICAL PINK ROSE OF SHARON!

Radical RevLa: Alone but not Lonely

Standing alone does not always mean you are lonely

Accepting your call to the ministry can sometimes place you in a very lonely place. I've been away from the blogging world due to my ministerial commitments so I'm excited to be back. I will be bringing the Radical Women of the bible series back very soon. However I just wanted to take a moment to encourage some of you Radical Ladies of ministry today that have found themselves alone as they seek to do God's Will.

Recently I've been given another assignment in my role of Kingdom Building. Being new to facebook I'v noticed that most of the people there are social and having fun with their virtual friends. I thought that this was great. To find people you haven't seen or talked to in years. As with our family its a way to communicate to the entire family different events or information thats going on with the family. I also noticed that there are some who want to speak more about God but don't feel as comfortable. Or some who want a more wholesome place. As I was pondering these things in my heart I felt the Lord speak to me and say "I want to connect with my people. They don't know me in a social everyday way. I'm with them in everything but they only have a religious picture of me. I want you to place me in their virtual world."

I took this to mean that I was commissioned to speak more about Him on facebook and twitter. Anybody that knows me understands that I always find a way to talk about my first Love. But I really want to let the world know that the Lord is fun and wants us to enjoy Him and need Him in our everyday. So I talked and talked and talked about the Lord but no one really cared. It didn't matter to me because being the radical lady that I am I knew that I would just continue to do the job that I have been assigned to do.
Then I discovered that God did not want me to do what I was doing just on facebook or twitter. That He wanted me to start a mini-ning group based on Him in the everyday. Well I really didn't know how to do this but as always I was willing to do His will.

Ladies this is how FEELING GOD social network was created but that's not the end of the story or why I'm writting this.
When called to do your job those that you thought you could count on may not be there. You may loose friends and family. You may find yourself sitting at the window looking out by yourself. You maybe be the only one chating to God alone on your network...ha,ha,ha,...you may even doubt that you have been called to do whatever the job is that you were called to do. When you find yourself in this place of being alone and notice I said "when" then remember this:
You may be alone but you are never lonely when you choose God.

Continue to do your job and don't worry about numbers or what other people are doing and thinking. If you have to do it all then continue to do it to the best of your ablility. Honor God in your best works. Love those who have left or abandoned you. Ignore family and friends who don't stand with you or talk about you or wish for you to fail. Step out of the boat and simply walk on water towards Christ Jesus. Don't listen to the wind or look at the waves. Some of the greatest evangelist, pastors, and preachers started out with no one in their corners. They had events only to be the only person there. But those strong determined men and women of Christ stood and preached as if they were speaking to groups of thousands. By doing that simple act of obedience these same great pillars of Christ are doing just that speaking to millions all over the world.

So just remember do what you vowed to do. Radical Ladies we will have it even harder so stand strong and stand tall. When you find that you are alone then remember that He is always there to fill the void. As long as you are doing your job to best of your ablility and for His Glory then you will never be lonely.
Trust in Him He will work it out. Then before you know it He will open the flood gates and you will have more people around you then you will even want....ha,ha,ha. While alone keep working on perfecting whatever it is that you are doing. Find ways to work around those people that you were counting on to help you. Love them and forgive them but don't let them stand in your way.
As I stand with you in prayer know that as a Radical Woman of Christ I know what you are going through but I also know that we are the called ones and we must encourage each other as we travel on this rough road.

As you look out of your window alone smile and place all the great things that will come from the work that you do in your vision. Purpose to do your job and be happy and content. Always remember while you are alone you are never lonely for He let us know "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU"
Smooches my Radical Ladies of Christ
and if you want to enjoy the new mini-ning come visit and join up anytime
http://www.feelinggod.ning.com/