Radical RevLa Welcomes You

Saturday, September 1, 2012


This is never a joke.
 Its real life for too many women

If you were not married to or the girl friend of Chris Brown, Ike Turner, or Chad Ochocinco then your plight with domestic violence won't bring about any attention. While the ladies that were associated with these men should never had been placed in a situation where the person that they are in love with feels the need to physically hurt them, but because of who they are was how attention was focused on something that many women experience each day. This should never be this way. No woman should have to fear for her life from her spouse or male love interest. Your husband is not your father and should not feel that he can correct you by spankings, punching, slapping, punching, verbal abuse, or beating you into submission.

 We got an inside view when Tina Turner brought to the big screen her marital story with her then husband Ike Turner who habitually beat her every chance he got. While the story that we saw was fiction based on truth it would only lend to the imagination how someone could live with this type of behavior day in and day out. We were shocked when the charismatic  singer Chris Brown beat and punched the very popular singer Rhianna who was his love interest at the time. To see the pictures of her black and blue bruised face caused the world to want to hurt him. To see her pretty face so abused hit a cord in every woman. 

Now we have the latest with the Chad Ochocinco an outstanding player for the Miami Dolphins who head butted his wife. From what has been told in the press the couple had not been married that long. The Dolphins dropped him after the incident which I admire them for and hope it was to prove a point that this type of behavior is unacceptable. 

Ladies God did not create us for man so that he would have a lifetime punching bag. I don't care what environment that he was subjected to during his youth it still does not give him the right to become physical with you. While I understand that many men did not get the right upbringing and for those who did not they need some type of spiritual counseling and man training. Many men don't know how to be a man. A man that is cut from the body of Christ. The church must stand strong and take the lead for these men. The church must guide and direct. All men and boys need to be taught how Christ loves the church. His example shows the love of a real spouse. He is the head of the man and only when that man learns about Christ's love and learn from his Head can he be the proper head of his household. 

Love is not wanting your own way. Love is not hurting. Love is not demanding and love is not abusive. Love is not blaming someone else for your actions. Many women tend to feel that they are the reason for the abuse. Let's get one think straight no matter how you run your mouth. No matter how you attempt to provoke a man should never put his hands on you. While you should not push to cause a person to loose his temper or put your hands on him still it does not give him the right to hit. 

Accepting abuse for the sake of love is insane. The sign of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change. As a woman of God remember He never wants you in a situation where you are not cherished, protected, and treated like the wonderful gift that you are. Ladies we must remember at all times who we are. We are the daughters of the King. The Creator. We have been made from precious material and we should never allow the world to make us feel bad about ourselves. 

Love God and yourself first and then you will never need to look for love from a man who is incapable of true love. I would rather be alone then to have to fear for my life or be called every name but a child of God. Understand verbal abuse is just as bad as physical if not worse. The body will heal but those words seem to remain forever. Many ladies who have been in this situation with abuse have stated that they never knew when it would come. For months things could be going well with them as a couple and then all of a sudden they would do something that would cause their spouse or lover to hit them or cause some sort of bodily harm. Sometimes the abuser would make attempts to say they were sorry and peace would come until the next time. Other spouses and lovers were just mean and would  keep abusing without remorse.

The very first thing we must do as ladies is respect ourselves. We must learn who we are and whom we belong to. God will be your mate, spouse and lover while He prepares us to be presented to the mate of His choice. While we wait we learn about ourselves. We learn how precious we are to Him. We have the time to do His Will and the assignment that He has created just for us to do. We won't have time to be lonely because we are busy studying ourselves and building a relationship with Lord Jesus. 

If you are in a relationship prior to this knowledge then pay attention to any red flags. Make sure that you are not ignoring certain behaviors that keep popping up that lets you know that he is not treating you in a way that Christ would treat his bride. Continue to study and watch for clues. Understand that if you are hit once you will be hit again. Leave the environment and seek help and counseling. Don't accept him back into your life unless he has sought and is in counseling and has an accountable partner that will help him in his actions. You seek help as well and make sure that you have heard from God to continue with this relationship.

This may sound harsh but emotions can not be the leader on this matter. We have been given freewill and loving a person is not an emotion but a choice. We must choose to love. We must understand what love really is and then make a choice to love fully. Once we do that then we will understand where we are and where we should be. Never accept abuse of any type. Physical, verbal and psychological abuse is not needed in any relationship. We need more focus on this besides those who are in the media or so called superstars. No woman needs this in their life and no one should blame the innocent person who is the victim. 

You should forgive him but that does not mean that you have to continue to subject yourself to the abuse. Forgive and keep distant  until you know he is right or wish him well and keep it moving. If he is the type that stalks you then you must seek help from the law. You may have to move out of state. You must do whatever is necessary for your safety and the safety of your children if you have them.

Keep in mind at all times that you are royalty and must be treated in that way. Likewise you must treat him as you want to be treated. Remember that marriage and amours relationships should be based on God. Be there for any of your female friends who are dealing with this trouble. Not as a counselor but as a listening ear and a comfort. You can't tell somebody what to do but you can give love when you can. Don't allow that person to use you as their sounding board. Direct them to a pastor, domestic violence group, or to a Christian counselor. You are adapt to handle this complex situation. 

Pray for all women who are dealing with this issue. Ask God to lead them out of that situation. Ask God to strengthen them so that they can live in peace. Most of all keep your negative comments to yourself. If you have not walked in their shoes you don't know how hard it is to get out of. I for one have not been in this situation and would not like to be. I pass no judgement on anyone that has to. I pray that I could be a help rather than a hindrance. 

So my great readers I'm still my radical RevLa self but this has touched me. I won't make fun or have my same old crazy ending. As we celebrate the year of the black woman I felt that this is something that has no color to it but has gender. Women all over the world are dealing with this. We don't want this pushed in the corner and only brought out when there is a celebrity involved. Lets embrace each other and come together. We must let men understand that we were not put in their lives as punching bags. Domestic Violence is 
Unacceptable not now.....not ever!!! 

So as I end this I just have to say
Who are we?
The Daughters of the King!
How should we be treated?
Like the Royal Queens that we are!

Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 
 1Corinthians 13:4-8

I rest my case!!!
Gotta love me....no really you do
Radical RevLa