Giving What You Don't Have

As a woman we must remember
to take care of ourselves first

I noticed that the older I get the more centered on my own life I become. Not for obvious reasons such as increasing in age. Friends and families dying. Retiring and empty nest syndrome. None of those things are the reason. What I discovered is that my source of pouring out my essence has come to an end. Why you ask? Simply because I have no more to give. Like the caption in the picture above I must refill. I have no more of myself to give.

As a woman we tend to pour ourselves out to everyone and everything. We keep giving and giving to we come to the place where we are drained and have nothing to give to ourselves. Many women find this out during their menopausal phase. They have given to their families, job, church, and any and everyone then suddenly realize that they are drained. Their body is going through a transition and they don't have anything within to pull from. Their tank is running on empty or close to it. Suddenly they are feeling depressed or overwhelmed or both.

What I found out about myself during this period was that I just didn't want to give anymore. I wanted to stop and fill up. I didn't have a clue how to do that. I am a giver by nature as I feel most women are. I didn't know where to look for my guidance to obtaining the essence I so needed in my life. Then I just prayed. Asking God to direct me in this phase and show me how to replenish my inner waters. I had to make changes. Certain things and people had to be removed from my life. I had to remain connected with my source which is Christ Jesus.

I had to just say "no" to things that I did all of the time. I had to place my primary focus on myself. This was hard at first and I had to constantly remind myself that I was my own best friend. I had been friends with everyone but myself. As I concentrated on what made me happy and peaceful I felt my waters begin to increase. I knew that the only way that I could truly give to others was to make sure that my living water tank was full to overflow. This way I would have enough to give and not neglect myself. Obedience to God's word and ways was better than any sacrifice that I could ever give.

Ladies God does not want us to give so much of ourselves until we cease to live. Our life is just as important as any person that we are giving our essences out to. Our love ones would not be happy if we cease to live because we have nothing left. Once I discovered this then I knew that I have to make changes from the way I was eating to the time spent in sitting at the feet of Christ. I can say no and not feel bad. I can tell someone when they are mistreating me or taking advantage. I have reduced my stress.

Can I say that all is well with the world? No not just yet but my tank tends to overflow more now and I can give without hurting me. I can feel when I've given too much and then I pull in and rest. I know that I'm not all the way I should be yet but I'm closer than I have ever been. I can say that I am getting to the point where I will be in constant overflow.

This is a great feeling because you are in balance. You are doing a natural flow of life. You are giving and receiving in the proper way. You begin to live for yourself. You seek God's direction for your life and then follow it. You add to the world instead of decreasing to a point that being yourself does not matter. I've always said that if you are not living for yourself then who is living for you? No one!!! God didn't create each one of us and allow us to be a unique individual so that our unique selves are not included in the world. 

We are given gifts that no one else have and we have to decide to grow and live in our own unique way. Don't give out yourself until there is nothing left. We are all needed to make the body of Christ work. Yes we must give but also must receive. We receive our needs from the Lord and it is by His love, strength and direction will our inner waters will always increase and be full. When those waters are so full that they overflow then give all you want. It will not hurt you because your inner waters are full to the brim in Him.

Ladies love yourselves and seek the counsel of the Lord daily. Fill your cistern and that vessel will remain full. Keep it full then allow it to overflow. That overflow is for those who God has led you to give it to. Everyone that asks does not need your living water. Make your life count and be your own mentor, coach, and best friend. 

As Radical RevLa always states you got to love me and I got to love myself as well.  

Are you living your life or just marking time?

Living life to the fullest is a choice

I just don't know what to do these days. All that's in front of me is brand new and I'm not sure just what I'm suppose to do. Let me explain. Before I retired from my day job I had everything planned out. Each morning I was going to get up just as if I had to go to work. I would do my morning worship and then exercise. I would plan out my meals and place myself on a low calorie diet. I would have several hours of housework and then move to my office and work on my latest novel.

Once that was done I would go out and do a class or swim and then meet a friend for lunch. I would go and visit my granddaughter and my daughter for a short visit. Then return home cook dinner and then take a nap until my husband came home. I would work one day a week at my part-time job and spend quality time with my spouse. Before I retired for the night I would update my blogs, work on promoting and marketing the current book, do some work on the marriage and relationship ministry then take a nice hot bath.

I would go to sleep beside my husband after evening prayers and then wake up and do it all over again. Now I don't know what fairytale I was living in but none of this has happened yet. I'm working two days a week. All I want to do is sleep and stay in my room. Exercise and eating right has become a joke. My husband's job has changed his hours so many times that we don't know if he's working days or nights. My daughter is having another baby and leaning on me to help her with everything. The marriage ministry is growing. My first book is out and marketing and promoting is difficult and my morning worship had been off and on depending on when my husband is up or not.

Nothing has gone according to plans and I'm not living my life I'm just marking time. I must find a way to get a handle on this before I throw in the towel. When I couldn't do it because of work I was so organize. Now that I have plenty of time I just can't seem to manage anything. So I had to stop and look at what's going on with my life. I have got to find a way to live my life in peace and harmony for me. I can't let my husband , daughter, sons, or anyone else disrupt my peace. I didn't retire to lay around like a rock and do nothing. Or the things that I have done to just be in vain.

I must get a handle on the matters that are important to my life and not allow those around me to suck up my new life. So now I must look at myself for all that I'm worth and declare that I'm going to live for me and let no one take away my peace. This is the last week that I let someone else's choices reflect on me. I have been retired for a year as of this month and I have not done anything to break out of this mode.

This month Radical RevLa is going to make a change. As Michael Jackson once sang I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm not just asking him to change his ways but I'm saying "RevLa change now or shut your mouth".
Now you know I can't shut my mouth so I guess I have to make that change.

Gotta love me...and I gotta to love me first.

 Buy my new book:
Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love
By:
SaBrowny Rae
 aka
 Radical RevLa

www.sabrownyraebooks.com