The Test

Trusting that I will pass the test before me

A brand new chapter has begun in my life and I am so excited and so shocked. The excitement everyone can understand but the shock came from left field. Many people that I thought would be with me marching to the new drummer's beat I found have stayed behind for reasons that I'm just not sure of. If I had to place a bet and trust me I'm not a betting woman, that these people would not be behind me, or beside me and supporting me then I would have lost all of my money. 

To tell the absolute truth I'm shocked and dismayed. I cannot believe that some of my closes and most cherished people have dropped off from my new life and have not embraced me the way that I thought. I would never do that to them. Even if I felt some slight negativity I would be supportive because I know that my Lord is no respecter of person and if He provided for them, He will provide for me. We all have been blessed with talent. We each have our own creativity that is just ours. Mine may not be like yours and yours may not be like mine but we can appreciate what each other has. 

After loosing my baby sister last year I realized that things just had to change. I could not expect something different if all I did was the same old thing in the same old way. I know you can't believe that Radical RevLa could do such a thing. Nevertheless I was right there doing the same old things expecting a different out come. Then just like being hit by lightening God parted his wisdom knowledge into my head and heart. I had to change. Not only did I have to change myself from the inside out but I had to change everything that was about me as well. This led to some very painful times.

I lost friends who had been in my life for so many years only to find out that they were holding me back from a new life. I now see that family members who I knew would always be there for me now have given me a cold shoulder or have just ignored my new joy and my project of love. Yes, it hurts deeply but I'm trying not to be so self-centered. I don't want to make it all about me, however it still cuts deep and I wonder why.

My thoughts are first centered on my own attitude. Have I done something that is offensive? Did I show love or support when those around me that I love had their own moments of joy? Did I show jealousy of any kind and if I did,... did I repent? I would hate to think that I did any of that when my relatives were blessed with their joy. 

Then as I sat and pondered or prayed on these matters I realized that all will not have a heart of joy for my efforts. They will not be happy for me nor supportive. I cannot dwell on them and their attitudes. I must still love them and show support but I cannot allow myself to be dragged down into the crab barrel. I must fight to get out even if its meant that I loose a limb or two. So I walk this new chapter of my life clinging to the hand of my Almighty Father God. I know I'm not all right nor am I all wrong. I'm just a person trying to step into my new place in line and attempting to hold up my end.

I have the right to be happy right now. I have the right to enjoy this phase of my life. I have the right to look at my hard work and take a breath. I have the right to give God the Glory for what He has done so far and look forward to where I'm heading. I know it won't be easy and I also know that there are more hurdles to jump. I'm willing and I won't stop doing what I'm doing. I have a job to do and I'm not ready to stop now. I can only pray for those that I love. I pray that they will get on board and ride this train with me. However if they don't then get out of my way because I'm moving forward. I'm stepping into my next place in line and when this place is over then I will step into the next one.

Now for those who don't know my new place again I share it with you. I have just released my first new fiction novel and it has been a work of love and joy as God has given it to me. I would love for all of you to see the new Radical RevLa...I introduced to you the new me last month but I will bring her to you each month until you get to know her. I introduce you to the now fiction author SaBrowny Rae and her book Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love. You can find out more about her and read parts of these great stories on our new website at  www.sabrownyraebooks.com

Also enjoy the above new commercial that lets you see the hard work. We so want you to be a part of this new chapter of my new life and pray that you get this book all the buzz has stated that its good and worth investing in. As for those love ones who can not be happy or enjoy the new me...just give it time I'm the same as I was before only now I'm just in a new place in line. Just look I'm there for you loving you as I have always done only now I would like for you to love me as I love you. Trust me you will enjoy the new me better then the old one.

But what can I say...gotta to love me...ha,ha,ha...
no really you do.

Radical RevLa: Alone but not Lonely

Standing alone does not always mean you are lonely

Accepting your call to the ministry can sometimes place you in a very lonely place. I've been away from the blogging world due to my ministerial commitments so I'm excited to be back. I will be bringing the Radical Women of the bible series back very soon. However I just wanted to take a moment to encourage some of you Radical Ladies of ministry today that have found themselves alone as they seek to do God's Will.

Recently I've been given another assignment in my role of Kingdom Building. Being new to facebook I'v noticed that most of the people there are social and having fun with their virtual friends. I thought that this was great. To find people you haven't seen or talked to in years. As with our family its a way to communicate to the entire family different events or information thats going on with the family. I also noticed that there are some who want to speak more about God but don't feel as comfortable. Or some who want a more wholesome place. As I was pondering these things in my heart I felt the Lord speak to me and say "I want to connect with my people. They don't know me in a social everyday way. I'm with them in everything but they only have a religious picture of me. I want you to place me in their virtual world."

I took this to mean that I was commissioned to speak more about Him on facebook and twitter. Anybody that knows me understands that I always find a way to talk about my first Love. But I really want to let the world know that the Lord is fun and wants us to enjoy Him and need Him in our everyday. So I talked and talked and talked about the Lord but no one really cared. It didn't matter to me because being the radical lady that I am I knew that I would just continue to do the job that I have been assigned to do.
Then I discovered that God did not want me to do what I was doing just on facebook or twitter. That He wanted me to start a mini-ning group based on Him in the everyday. Well I really didn't know how to do this but as always I was willing to do His will.

Ladies this is how FEELING GOD social network was created but that's not the end of the story or why I'm writting this.
When called to do your job those that you thought you could count on may not be there. You may loose friends and family. You may find yourself sitting at the window looking out by yourself. You maybe be the only one chating to God alone on your network...ha,ha,ha,...you may even doubt that you have been called to do whatever the job is that you were called to do. When you find yourself in this place of being alone and notice I said "when" then remember this:
You may be alone but you are never lonely when you choose God.

Continue to do your job and don't worry about numbers or what other people are doing and thinking. If you have to do it all then continue to do it to the best of your ablility. Honor God in your best works. Love those who have left or abandoned you. Ignore family and friends who don't stand with you or talk about you or wish for you to fail. Step out of the boat and simply walk on water towards Christ Jesus. Don't listen to the wind or look at the waves. Some of the greatest evangelist, pastors, and preachers started out with no one in their corners. They had events only to be the only person there. But those strong determined men and women of Christ stood and preached as if they were speaking to groups of thousands. By doing that simple act of obedience these same great pillars of Christ are doing just that speaking to millions all over the world.

So just remember do what you vowed to do. Radical Ladies we will have it even harder so stand strong and stand tall. When you find that you are alone then remember that He is always there to fill the void. As long as you are doing your job to best of your ablility and for His Glory then you will never be lonely.
Trust in Him He will work it out. Then before you know it He will open the flood gates and you will have more people around you then you will even want....ha,ha,ha. While alone keep working on perfecting whatever it is that you are doing. Find ways to work around those people that you were counting on to help you. Love them and forgive them but don't let them stand in your way.
As I stand with you in prayer know that as a Radical Woman of Christ I know what you are going through but I also know that we are the called ones and we must encourage each other as we travel on this rough road.

As you look out of your window alone smile and place all the great things that will come from the work that you do in your vision. Purpose to do your job and be happy and content. Always remember while you are alone you are never lonely for He let us know "I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU"
Smooches my Radical Ladies of Christ
and if you want to enjoy the new mini-ning come visit and join up anytime
http://www.feelinggod.ning.com/