Giving What You Don't Have

As a woman we must remember
to take care of ourselves first

I noticed that the older I get the more centered on my own life I become. Not for obvious reasons such as increasing in age. Friends and families dying. Retiring and empty nest syndrome. None of those things are the reason. What I discovered is that my source of pouring out my essence has come to an end. Why you ask? Simply because I have no more to give. Like the caption in the picture above I must refill. I have no more of myself to give.

As a woman we tend to pour ourselves out to everyone and everything. We keep giving and giving to we come to the place where we are drained and have nothing to give to ourselves. Many women find this out during their menopausal phase. They have given to their families, job, church, and any and everyone then suddenly realize that they are drained. Their body is going through a transition and they don't have anything within to pull from. Their tank is running on empty or close to it. Suddenly they are feeling depressed or overwhelmed or both.

What I found out about myself during this period was that I just didn't want to give anymore. I wanted to stop and fill up. I didn't have a clue how to do that. I am a giver by nature as I feel most women are. I didn't know where to look for my guidance to obtaining the essence I so needed in my life. Then I just prayed. Asking God to direct me in this phase and show me how to replenish my inner waters. I had to make changes. Certain things and people had to be removed from my life. I had to remain connected with my source which is Christ Jesus.

I had to just say "no" to things that I did all of the time. I had to place my primary focus on myself. This was hard at first and I had to constantly remind myself that I was my own best friend. I had been friends with everyone but myself. As I concentrated on what made me happy and peaceful I felt my waters begin to increase. I knew that the only way that I could truly give to others was to make sure that my living water tank was full to overflow. This way I would have enough to give and not neglect myself. Obedience to God's word and ways was better than any sacrifice that I could ever give.

Ladies God does not want us to give so much of ourselves until we cease to live. Our life is just as important as any person that we are giving our essences out to. Our love ones would not be happy if we cease to live because we have nothing left. Once I discovered this then I knew that I have to make changes from the way I was eating to the time spent in sitting at the feet of Christ. I can say no and not feel bad. I can tell someone when they are mistreating me or taking advantage. I have reduced my stress.

Can I say that all is well with the world? No not just yet but my tank tends to overflow more now and I can give without hurting me. I can feel when I've given too much and then I pull in and rest. I know that I'm not all the way I should be yet but I'm closer than I have ever been. I can say that I am getting to the point where I will be in constant overflow.

This is a great feeling because you are in balance. You are doing a natural flow of life. You are giving and receiving in the proper way. You begin to live for yourself. You seek God's direction for your life and then follow it. You add to the world instead of decreasing to a point that being yourself does not matter. I've always said that if you are not living for yourself then who is living for you? No one!!! God didn't create each one of us and allow us to be a unique individual so that our unique selves are not included in the world. 

We are given gifts that no one else have and we have to decide to grow and live in our own unique way. Don't give out yourself until there is nothing left. We are all needed to make the body of Christ work. Yes we must give but also must receive. We receive our needs from the Lord and it is by His love, strength and direction will our inner waters will always increase and be full. When those waters are so full that they overflow then give all you want. It will not hurt you because your inner waters are full to the brim in Him.

Ladies love yourselves and seek the counsel of the Lord daily. Fill your cistern and that vessel will remain full. Keep it full then allow it to overflow. That overflow is for those who God has led you to give it to. Everyone that asks does not need your living water. Make your life count and be your own mentor, coach, and best friend. 

As Radical RevLa always states you got to love me and I got to love myself as well.  

Are you living your life or just marking time?

Living life to the fullest is a choice

I just don't know what to do these days. All that's in front of me is brand new and I'm not sure just what I'm suppose to do. Let me explain. Before I retired from my day job I had everything planned out. Each morning I was going to get up just as if I had to go to work. I would do my morning worship and then exercise. I would plan out my meals and place myself on a low calorie diet. I would have several hours of housework and then move to my office and work on my latest novel.

Once that was done I would go out and do a class or swim and then meet a friend for lunch. I would go and visit my granddaughter and my daughter for a short visit. Then return home cook dinner and then take a nap until my husband came home. I would work one day a week at my part-time job and spend quality time with my spouse. Before I retired for the night I would update my blogs, work on promoting and marketing the current book, do some work on the marriage and relationship ministry then take a nice hot bath.

I would go to sleep beside my husband after evening prayers and then wake up and do it all over again. Now I don't know what fairytale I was living in but none of this has happened yet. I'm working two days a week. All I want to do is sleep and stay in my room. Exercise and eating right has become a joke. My husband's job has changed his hours so many times that we don't know if he's working days or nights. My daughter is having another baby and leaning on me to help her with everything. The marriage ministry is growing. My first book is out and marketing and promoting is difficult and my morning worship had been off and on depending on when my husband is up or not.

Nothing has gone according to plans and I'm not living my life I'm just marking time. I must find a way to get a handle on this before I throw in the towel. When I couldn't do it because of work I was so organize. Now that I have plenty of time I just can't seem to manage anything. So I had to stop and look at what's going on with my life. I have got to find a way to live my life in peace and harmony for me. I can't let my husband , daughter, sons, or anyone else disrupt my peace. I didn't retire to lay around like a rock and do nothing. Or the things that I have done to just be in vain.

I must get a handle on the matters that are important to my life and not allow those around me to suck up my new life. So now I must look at myself for all that I'm worth and declare that I'm going to live for me and let no one take away my peace. This is the last week that I let someone else's choices reflect on me. I have been retired for a year as of this month and I have not done anything to break out of this mode.

This month Radical RevLa is going to make a change. As Michael Jackson once sang I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm not just asking him to change his ways but I'm saying "RevLa change now or shut your mouth".
Now you know I can't shut my mouth so I guess I have to make that change.

Gotta love me...and I gotta to love me first.

 Buy my new book:
Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love
By:
SaBrowny Rae
 aka
 Radical RevLa

www.sabrownyraebooks.com

An Suddenly

An Suddenly There Was Light

This year has a strange aura about it....wait just hear me out! There is something stirring in the spiritual air. Its both negative as we have seen from the many strange acts that has been reported daily in the news, and positive. This blog is not going to report on the negative because we have enough people doing that. Radical RevLa has chosen that during this year of difference to focus on the positive of what's going on in the spirit of this year. I have decided that this year is "The Year of Christ". Does this mean that I think that He is coming back this year? Maybe but that's not for me to say. What I do think is that many of us are about to embrace change and this change will reveal truth in our life.

The thing about this change is that it has been moving forward in our life for a while now. We may not have notice it but this year we won't have a choice. It will arrive and when it does it will come upon us in a very sudden movement. One day we will be our same old way and then we will look up and everything that we knew will be changed. If we are in touch with ourselves then we would have been expecting this change at some point and time in our lives.

For some it will show up during the early years and you will think "my am I lucky". Then for others it will come during the late years of your life and you will think "my am I blessed." Either way it will come and life as you have come to know it will forever change in a single moment. So what have you been praying for? What have you been dreaming of? What is your heart's desire? These are the things that your "an suddenly" will focus on during this magical year. 

I have been chasing a dream for as long as I can remember. While many times during the course of my life I have place this desire to the back burner or just forgot about it altogether each time God has placed it back on my heart. Many times I have made an attempt but just was not sure of myself. I thought that this dream was just that a simple dream. Then as I became this wonderful vintage age that I am God spoke to me and said now is the time. 

I was not sure because everything that I thought should be in place was not there. You see I had a plan. I would work for the next two years full time and part-time. I would save all of this money and then retire from the full and walk into my new destiny. The joke was on me....when God tells you to do something then He will make things hard until you wake up and listen. He will keep pushing you towards the promise until you have to make a choice either to do it or to be in disobedience and suffer the "What if's" for the rest of your life. When He has birthed something in your heart then He will make it happen so you know it was He that did it. Not you or your efforts. 

Being the radical person that I am I just stopped and said ok I'm diving off the side of the boat and I'm walking on water. I would love to say all things fell in place just like that. I would so love to say that nothing bad happened. I would love to say that all my dreams came true just like that. I would love to take it one step further and say that hey guess what I became an instant millionaire and I didn't have any problems what so ever. Wrong, wrong and wrong again.

None of the above happened. Things went from bad to worse. I lost a lot of things including the life of my precious sister. My pockets were empty for the first time in a very long time. My age caught up with me and what was very easy was now difficult. For the first time in many years I could not see the direction I was heading and I could not do this on my own. In other words I had no choice but to do the will of God. I had no choice but to depend on Him. I had no choice but to wake up each morning knowing that He would provide all my needs and some of my wants for that day. Just like the manna that fell from heaven each day to feed the Israelites they had to believe that the food would be there to keep them alive.

This I must confess was and is new to me. I may be the bible toting spokesperson of the Lord but I have never felt so humbled in my life. I have never knowingly knew that I had no other choice but to put all I had on Him and then forget about my own efforts. Everything even my health had to be placed in His mighty hands. And then it began to happen. Things slowly changed. My dreams came back to the surface and I knew that this was the season to do them and not look back. This was the season to walk only as the Lord has guided me to do and not be afraid. 

This was the season to see the victory and then the "an suddenly" was birthed in my spirit and I knew that soon it would come and my life will change. Not only that He renewed everything. He gave me back my youth...not on the outside but on the inside. I don't even know who I am anymore because for the first time I can remember I am my own person in Christ Jesus. I know who I am and who I'm going to be and I don't care what anyone else has to say about me. I am free for the first time ever and I'm loving it.

So good folks this is what I'm saying. This season of freedom has arrived. All you have to do is really turn it over to the Lord and let Him do it and take you where you need to go. Yes you will still make mistakes but don't despair just get back up and begin again. For as long as you hold on to that promised baby of your dreams it will be born. When its time to labor then do just that. When its time to push then do just that. When its time that you feel that the pain is too much then remember how that promise baby will be.

That's when your "an suddenly" will come and you will never be the same again. Now get this once this first Promise baby is born then there are many brothers and sisters waiting to be born. In other words as long as you are growing and producing then you are living and life will just get better. Keep your eyes on the Christ during this great season of God. Then in the end He will get all of the glory and you will have a testimony that proves that you passed the test.

Embrace the new change in this very strange season and just live your life to the abundance in the Lord. Focus on the positives and learn from the negatives and keep it moving with a smile. Live your life on purpose. Then just love....no matter how hard it gets just love.

See you can start with me...as I always say....gotta to love me
No really you do!!!
Smooches.....Radical RevLa