Giving What You Don't Have

As a woman we must remember
to take care of ourselves first

I noticed that the older I get the more centered on my own life I become. Not for obvious reasons such as increasing in age. Friends and families dying. Retiring and empty nest syndrome. None of those things are the reason. What I discovered is that my source of pouring out my essence has come to an end. Why you ask? Simply because I have no more to give. Like the caption in the picture above I must refill. I have no more of myself to give.

As a woman we tend to pour ourselves out to everyone and everything. We keep giving and giving to we come to the place where we are drained and have nothing to give to ourselves. Many women find this out during their menopausal phase. They have given to their families, job, church, and any and everyone then suddenly realize that they are drained. Their body is going through a transition and they don't have anything within to pull from. Their tank is running on empty or close to it. Suddenly they are feeling depressed or overwhelmed or both.

What I found out about myself during this period was that I just didn't want to give anymore. I wanted to stop and fill up. I didn't have a clue how to do that. I am a giver by nature as I feel most women are. I didn't know where to look for my guidance to obtaining the essence I so needed in my life. Then I just prayed. Asking God to direct me in this phase and show me how to replenish my inner waters. I had to make changes. Certain things and people had to be removed from my life. I had to remain connected with my source which is Christ Jesus.

I had to just say "no" to things that I did all of the time. I had to place my primary focus on myself. This was hard at first and I had to constantly remind myself that I was my own best friend. I had been friends with everyone but myself. As I concentrated on what made me happy and peaceful I felt my waters begin to increase. I knew that the only way that I could truly give to others was to make sure that my living water tank was full to overflow. This way I would have enough to give and not neglect myself. Obedience to God's word and ways was better than any sacrifice that I could ever give.

Ladies God does not want us to give so much of ourselves until we cease to live. Our life is just as important as any person that we are giving our essences out to. Our love ones would not be happy if we cease to live because we have nothing left. Once I discovered this then I knew that I have to make changes from the way I was eating to the time spent in sitting at the feet of Christ. I can say no and not feel bad. I can tell someone when they are mistreating me or taking advantage. I have reduced my stress.

Can I say that all is well with the world? No not just yet but my tank tends to overflow more now and I can give without hurting me. I can feel when I've given too much and then I pull in and rest. I know that I'm not all the way I should be yet but I'm closer than I have ever been. I can say that I am getting to the point where I will be in constant overflow.

This is a great feeling because you are in balance. You are doing a natural flow of life. You are giving and receiving in the proper way. You begin to live for yourself. You seek God's direction for your life and then follow it. You add to the world instead of decreasing to a point that being yourself does not matter. I've always said that if you are not living for yourself then who is living for you? No one!!! God didn't create each one of us and allow us to be a unique individual so that our unique selves are not included in the world. 

We are given gifts that no one else have and we have to decide to grow and live in our own unique way. Don't give out yourself until there is nothing left. We are all needed to make the body of Christ work. Yes we must give but also must receive. We receive our needs from the Lord and it is by His love, strength and direction will our inner waters will always increase and be full. When those waters are so full that they overflow then give all you want. It will not hurt you because your inner waters are full to the brim in Him.

Ladies love yourselves and seek the counsel of the Lord daily. Fill your cistern and that vessel will remain full. Keep it full then allow it to overflow. That overflow is for those who God has led you to give it to. Everyone that asks does not need your living water. Make your life count and be your own mentor, coach, and best friend. 

As Radical RevLa always states you got to love me and I got to love myself as well.  

Embrace The Change

Change is coming might as well enjoy it!!!

I have been waking up for the pass three months and notice that something is about to happen. I'm not sure what it is but I can say this everything that I have grown accustom to is about to change. I thought that maybe it was because I'm getting more vintage ( nice way of saying old...ha,ha,ha). Or maybe my focus is in another direction. Still again my life as I had known it to be would change and I have one of two choices: embrace the change....or hide my head in the sand and cry over what can not be prevented.

For over four decades I have been working outside of my home. I have worn so many hats that my head just learned how to adjust at once to whatever hat I needed on. A wife, mother, preacher, nurse, author, candle stick maker...(ok no candlestick maker but it felt like it at times). I knew that one day there would come a time that I would have to come home. That thought was great but I also knew myself so certain things were put into place to hold me while I adjusted to working at home. As you see I never intended to stop working just working in a different way.

When I thought about this day I would just laugh and think "its really a long time away". But let me explain to you about reality...no matter how we fantasise one day reality just opens the door and walks in. He doesn't care if he has an invitation or not. He's coming and you will have to deal with it one way or another. So each morning now reality and I have a fight. Most mornings it will proceed as follows:

Me: Oh dear God ...reality not you again

Reality: the top of the morning to you....face it I'm here to stay

Me: reality I'm cool with change but not yet. I have somethings I need to do and I'm not ready to change just yet. Give me....maybe a year or two...then I will be ready

Reality: Sorry no can do....changing things as we speak...you better hop on board or get left in the dust

Me: reality this sucks...big time...I'm going to have to think about it.

Reality: whatever ....changing things as we speak. Oh yea did I tell you that things as you have always known it to be will start making you very uncomfortable...thought I would give you a heads up.

Me: thanks reality...you have been so reallllllllll.

Reality: peace out ....see you soon one way or another. Oh yea we can do this the easy fun way or....we can do it the hard way....either way its going to happen.

And it did everyday change has taken place at a pace that has my heading spinning. Things I thought was written in stone no longer make sense or apply. Things that I thought I couldn't do without is ...how can I say it....OUT!!!

I was becoming slightly depressed. You see I am one of those people who like things to stay the same no matter what. I would never change my home unless pushed to. Then when I'm pushed I end up loving it. So I can feel God doing just that. Placing me in situations where I have no other choice but to change. As He is moving me in that direction I find that I'm loving the change. Now I'm getting to a point where I'm wanting the change. In fact I can say that I can't wait for the change...(ok that went too far but I'm getting there). From what I can see is that at the age of 59 going into 60 I will finally arrive at who I thought I was when I was in high school. Really I am coming back to the dreams that I had for me then. Being the person that I wanted to be then now.

So really RevLa what are you saying? Just this if you allow the changes to come with an anticipation of something wonderful is coming then you will never stop growing. Next never stop achieving the goals of your life. Reach back into your youth and go after those dreams that you put on a back burner while you were just trying to make it. Does that mean if you always wanted to be a basketball player that at age 60 you can attempt to try out for the NBA? No again face reality but can you help coach a youth basketball team so that those kids can reach that level in life and you had a direct hand in it.

I am so happy and at peace with my approaching birthday in the next two months. I will get to retire from my day job at the age of 59 and embrace my brand new life on my 60th birthday. I'm not sure all that God has in store for me right now but I do now it will be great, exciting, difficult and fun. I'm ready mentally as I can be but I will have to get my body ready....ha,ha,ha (as I said it will be difficult).

So plan on hearing more from me as I make my transition. Look for all the new tasks I have on my plate. Be ready to read my first great American novel....( have to think big!)
And most of all welcome the new and improve Radical RevLa
What can I say:
Gotta to Love Me....no really you do...God said so!!!