I'm Happy

In order to get to your goal sometimes
even your family has to be left behind

I'm brand new! Yes, after sixty-one years I'm like a brand new creature. It's exciting to be in this place during the vintage years. What's even better is that I'm at a place in life that I've been delivered from people. Many that know me would never believe that I have a thing about rejection. I had been rejected during the early years of my life to the point that for most of my early adult years I had problems getting close to people for fear of being rejected.

As I grew and had to deal with what life had to offer I found that the only person I could truly count on was and is God. As I drew closer to Him He made certain promises to me. They have all come true. I have been blessed and now I know that He is faithful to His word. My life has been difficult but for the most part it has been great. I got to become everything that I ever dreamed of being and now he has taken me to another new area.

I am no longer in my comfort zone. As I leave my area of comfort I'm finding that those who I thought would be there with me are not. A lot of my family and friends have been drifting off to the sidelines. Even my children have shown their rejection and stepped off. It hurt for a moment and now I understand. You can not put your all into people in order to seek your happiness. You must look to God for the goals that he has impregnated in your heart from childhood.

Once you know then you must seek direction from the Holy Spirit and just follow. Don't be afraid to be the new you. Change is needed in order to move forward. I was a person who didn't like change. I enjoyed doing the same thing over and over. In order for me to evolve then God had to put obstacles in my way so that I had no other choice but to change. Now it's not as hard as it was before. I still get in my own way. I still cry and plead and ask God if I can do it without the change but once I know then I accept it better.

With this brand new life I'm living change will be bigger than I could ever imagine. Many that had been a part of my life or even the focus of my life will be left behind or put on the back burner for now. They may include my closes relatives, friends and even my very own children. So that I can reach the future that God has for me then I need to let them go and allow myself to be happy. I have to feel that I deserve to be happy. What God has done at this time in my life is to put me at a place where I'm at peace. Is all right in my life?

No, there are many things that need to be attended to. But for the first time ever I know that He is able to lead me through to a better life. While there is still painful things I must deal with. I'm able to handle it better. I may cry and hurt inside but now I look at the negative to find the positive that hides within. I can smile and sing to myself. I can work through the situations and know that whatever the problem is that it will pass as long as I keep my eyes focused on Christ Jesus.

Today I can say that I am happy. I can say that I have joy. I can say that I have peace and I can say that I have focus and direction. I know now that those who won't go with me that my best bet is to keep them in prayer and handle everything with the power of love. I know I can love my way through anything. I know that the last half of my life will be better then the first half. That there is so much more that God has for me.

So I can sing that song "Happy" and really feel it. Can't nobody bring me down, because I'm happy!!! My goals are my destiny and my destiny resides with God the Father. I can love even while I'm feeling pain and for the first time I know that I must trust, have faith, and take one day at a time. One second, one moment, one hour, one day. Trust in God in all of your ways and only He can direct your paths. Don't put your hope and trust in people they will fail you.

God is our goal and it's His gifts that we need to develop and just live the great life that he has created for each one of us. I don't care about rejection any more. It will come and it will go. So someone rejects me. Now I know that it's their lost and not mine. I shall walk with the Lord and enjoy all of the joy that He wants me to have. I walk in love, joy and peace. Most of all I walk with self control.

So now that I've gotten all of this out of me I can move on and enjoy my brand new happy life. Gotta to love me and I gotta to love you.

Coming very soon the latest book from
Author SaBrowny Rae
for
Backdoor Tales
This spring get your copy of
Backdoor Tales: Lipstick and I Judas
On sale now:
Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love
www.sabrownyraebooks.com
www.amazon.com/author/sabrownyraebooks  

Where are you blooming?

God plants us where He wants us to bloom

Its been so hard trying to bloom in my own rich soil. The soil that God blessed just for me. For many years I thought it best to get into someone else's dirt. The funny thing as I looked at everyone else's soil I decided my mine was not that great. I thought if I was planted in their soil then I could bloom like them. I fathomed that  myself by others standards.

I attempted to fit in with them and put myself in a place that I should not have been. The more I planted myself in someone else's soil the more my plant died. I was not living for myself and therefore the me that God created was not blooming. I new that I had to turn my life around. Once again I didn't have a clue as to how this should be done.

Then I turned it over to God and allowed Him to take over. The first thing that He did was to take me out of that soil and to put me in the soil that I needed to be in. This move was difficult. He took me out of the comfort zone that I created for myself. This made me feel alone and hurt. He pruned my poor flowers and lifeless leaves and then lovingly planted me into the riches soil that I could ever be in.

The funny thing at first I couldn't stand it. I have been living in a poor environment for so long that I could not accept the rich soil that He created just for me. It took me awhile to get the full understanding of my new circumstances. Once planted in my own soil my roots began to slowly grow. The more I accepted what God had for me the more I grew. Before I knew it I had one small blossom. A beautiful pink rosebud.

Suddenly I was comfortable and at peace with life. I loved who I was discovering I was. I was free from people and it just didn't matter what they said about me. While I still hurt by the rejection it only fueled my growth. Now I'm growing stronger and blooming more. My next very big blossom is about to come out soon and I feel another branch growing from me.

In my new soil I'm able to use the talents that I've been blessed with. I can see what God had meant for me at the very beginning. I've learned how to get out of my own way. I'm able to let God prune me and even through it does hurt I know its for my own good. My new growth and development. As I grow daily in my own soil I notice that it great to bloom and while blooming I've also lost the fear of success. The fear of being the real me.

I also lost the fear that who I am will not be like everyone else. I don't care if I'm different. At last I can grow and bloom and become the great garden that Christ allowed me to be. I do understand that He is the vine and I am the branch and its up to me to produce fruit. I also can relate to the fact that God is the one to prune and keep us in the right way to grow. Last but not least I understand that anything that does not produce growth must go.

So all in all I am now able to bloom where I have been planted. And for those who are of vintage age like myself its also simply great to be a late bloomer. You see the late bloomers last longer. Go to the Lord and find out if you are in the right soil. Find out if its where you need to be planted. If you are in the wrong soil then allow Him to plant you where you need to be. If you are in the where place then allow yourself to bloom. Don't be afraid that your flower maybe different. Its that difference that makes you uniquely you.

As I alway say…if you are not living for you then who is living for you? Bloom…bloom…and grow. You will live a life of peaceful bliss when you are blooming where you have been planted by God.

Smooches my fellow flowers and remember gotta love me!!!
No seriously you do and I gotta love you!!!

#TeamBackdoorTales
www.sabrownyraebooks.com
Coming this Spring the new book in the series be the first to get it.

It's Not Meant For Them

God has blessed us with a unique journey that is only for us individually. What I found that in the past I was so busy trying to explain what I had been called to do and didn't understand why no one could see it but me. Not only see it but care about it. I would allow their response to cause me to get caught up in my feelings. Wondering why people could not be happy for me. I would run to my family and friends thinking they would be happy and excited for me as I was and would meet a stonewall. Or worst ignored altogether.

I would start on my God given journey and would attempt to include people in it that was not suppose to be a part of that process. I would get down and have the blues and would not let it go. I would find myself talking about it to everyone in my circle. Trying my best to prove myself only to get hurt when they never gave me the love or support that I was looking for. Their rejection just made me push harder to achieve perfection.

Each goal I met would cause them to reject or ignore me more. My circle became smaller and smaller. I was lonely yet I continued with my journey. I was so glad and pleased with each new accomplishment and then run back to show them what I had done. Only to get the same response. I could not understand why they could not be happy for me or jump on board with me. I would think if the shoe was on the other foot I would be so proud of them.

I made sure that if any of my family or friends did anything that was their God given assignment then I would be their biggest cheerleader. I didn't just give them lip service but I would show them that I was happy from my heart. I would encourage and support them. I would pray for their journey. I knew that if God blessed them that it would be only a matter of time before he would bless me as well. I wanted to show others the love and support that I so wanted myself. While they accepted what I had to give they never gave me the same.

I prayed and was given my answer. Many would never understand what God had for me was for me. I didn't need man's approval to certify me in what God's plans were for my life. I could rest in the journey and just keep moving down my path. As I traveled on my journey there was only one who I had to please. That is my God and King. It's His plan that I follow and it's His comfort that I seek. He even allowed me to see my family and friends in a different light. 

While they may not say anything about what I do or how I do it in a way that would support me its alright. Some will never and some might but either way it should not affect me on my course. I just have to believe that it's not their fault that they don't understand my journey. It's not meant for them to because the journey is meant for me. Now that I know this I have decided that I will love and support all those I can as they do their God given journey. 

As for me I'm going for everything that God has for me. If no one likes it or encourages me about it then its fine. I know one day I will hear:
"Well done my good and faithful servant" 
So what can I say but:
Gotta love me…and I gotta love you!!!

Join #teamBackdoorTales
SaBrowny Rae will be coming out with another new book in the series in April 2014
Meanwhile get caught up on the first tale
Backdoor Tales: Tears of the Serpent and September Love
www.amazon.com/author/sabrownyraebooks
www.sabrownyraebooks.com

Happy New Year 2014

What are you doing for the
New Year?


Happy New Year Everyone!
2013 was such a mixed year for me that I can't possibly label it. You know how some years you can say that it just sucked or that it was the very best year ever. For me it was just mixed. I grew, I stood, I waited, I won, I lost, I received, and I gave the year was all over the place and I have to admit that I grew with each experience. Maybe that's the label I need to tag onto 2013 "Simply Growth"!
I thought I had it all together and planned out at the beginning of 2013. I knew that it was going to be a different season in Christ. I knew that He would lead me into directions that I just didn't understand. What I didn't know was how hard it was going to be nor did I understand that He was going to open up old hurts that had healed but healed wrong. I had know idea that there was old wounds under the healing that was causing things to fester in my spirit.

I thought I had forgiven and that part was true that's why the healing happened in the first place however I hadn't forgotten the incident and so it continued to grow and rot under my healing. What Christ did for me during 2013 was to rip away all of that old healing and then open up the wound so that the infection could be taken out. I had to relive the pain over and over as He put his spiritual antibiotics in the now clean wound so that it would heal the correct way.

This time the pain was worse and I thought I would not get threw it. I had to relive it only this time I had to look into my pain and allow the real healing to manifest. My Christ took me into his hospital and cleaned me out and then healed me and the hurt that I thought was gone was really gone this time for good. I received a peace that has stuck with me and now I'm in a peaceful and quiet place.

I can look to whats ahead of me and smile. It doesn't mean that I'm walking around with rose colored glasses. I see the world for what it really is and I know now that I can pick and choose what I want to be in my life. I can see what God has for me and go for it. This time I won't worry or think about what anyone has to say about it or me. I have fallen in love with myself and my husband and family during last year and now I can receive the harvest that's in store for me in this wonderful New Year.

I'm looking forward to what is ready for me to conquer and I can't wait to just throw down and get started. I have set my goals high and what I'm expecting is too much for me to fathom but I know with God on my side I have no reason to fear. All fear has been kicked to the curb and I only see this new me emerging.

So I say good bye 2013 and good riddance. You had your place and did your job well. Now its time for 2014 to step up and show out. I'm expecting something truly wonderful to happen to me everyday of 2014 and all I have to do is just look for it and it will be there. My eyes are open and I'm looking!
My heart is receiving and I know that my Lord has this and everything about me in the palm of His mighty hand. 
Plan on hearing great things this year of 2014 where Radical RevLa aka Author SaBrowny Rae is concern.

May you all have a blessed and great new year of Christ and get your baskets ready to receive your harvest.
Gotta love me and I gotta to love you!