Is That Your Real Hair?

The beauty of the black woman
lies in her hair

Since when is it politically correct to walk up to a Black Woman and ask her if her hair is real or not? I can't believe how disrespectful people are today. What I've noticed is that it's only the black woman who has this question asked of her. As we give honor to the black woman this year I would like to express praise to those of us who have started to embrace our natural hair. 
It is sad that we look at ourselves and base our beauty on the type, length, style and texture of our hair. It is said that we first developed this pattern from our ancestors being slaves. The female slave's hair was not considered beautiful. It was called kinky, nappy, suede caps, and that it was incapable of growing.

Many black women feel that they have to process their hair or wear a wig in order to fit in and appear beautiful. Some feel that they would have to weave in hair so that they could fit in. Now don't get me wrong. I believe that one should do whatever they feel necessary to achieve their view of beauty. If that means that you add, press, process or go natural that should be your right. Where I have a problem is when people suggest that we are not beautiful if we wear our God given hair in the way that He gave it to us. Hair for the black woman has become such an issue that when the gymnast Gabriele Douglas won both of her gold medals all everyone talked about in our community was that she needed her hair fix. When you looked at the other girls hair who happened to be Caucasians her hair looked the same. The focus was not on the fact that this young positive young lady made history only that her hair looked horrible.

We are told that if we want a job then we should not go on an interview with our hair natural. We are considered hostile if we have a natural bush or if we have locs called dirty. No other woman is labeled this way. Then the disrespect when people come to you and ask if your hair is your hair. If the real truth is told many Caucasian women wear weave. No one stops to think about asking them if it's their hair or not.

Another thing is that we are our own worse enemies. Many black women practice self hate by talking in a negative way about a sister that has decided to be free to be herself. They will say hurtful things to the woman who has taken that step. They laugh and talk about her openly to others. Then if your texture happens to be naturally straight or curly then they make it clear that it could never be the person's hair.

This lady starts to doubt her choice of being who she was born to be. She starts to regret her choice of being natural and may go back to the slave mentality and start processing, adding or wearing a wig. She must do what she does not want to do in order to have peace and feel good about herself. Its just easier than to deal with all the negative comments where her hair is concerned.

Black, beautiful and lovely ladies lets make it clear we can do anything we want to do with our hair and still look great. There is no good hair or bad. Hair is hair and we have the type of hair that really you can do anything that we want to do with it and remain the great lady that we are. However there are certain things that we must do. We must love ourselves from the inside out. We must look in the mirror and say pretty words to ourselves. We must take care of ourselves and eat healthy so that our hair will grow and shine.

We must be our own best friend and treat ourselves in the same way that we would treat our best friend. We must edify ourselves and then choose how we want to look. It does not matter if you are natural, straight, process, weave, wig or bald its up to you. Whatever you decide to do then own it and don't let anyone bring you down or attempt to make you feel less beautiful. When someone come up to you and ask you if its your hair then don't answer and keep it moving. They are not trying to do anything that will help you so don't allow them to bring you down.

If they keep on then let them know that you will not tolerate disrespect and that they are not to approach you in that way again. Then walk away and be you.
Women of color we are beautiful and its time that we embrace our beauty and walk with our heads held high. Allowing our natural or whatever we want for our hair to shine and glow. As sisters we should uplift each other and never beat each other up for our choice of hair style. We should not place such high priority on our hair. Yes we must fix it and look good and own it but we need to back up some and stop the mess.

It has gotten so bad that our daughters are feeling less if their hair is not the long flowing kind. We must stop and love whom we are and teach our daughters to love who they are and who they would become. As we walk in our glory this year let us all love our hair and let the world know that we do. Wear anyway you want and then respect your sisters for how they wear theirs. Compliment each other on our hair. Give another lady a high five for being who she was meant to be.

Drop terms such as good or bad hair. Never imply that only long straight hair is the best look that we can wear. Enjoy the fact that our hair can be anything that we want it to be. Don't ask another if their hair is real or not. Its really none of our business. We are the queens of the world and its time that we step into our kingdom and rule.

To my beautiful black sisters I just have one thing to say:
I really love your hair!!!
We got to love each other.....really we do!!!
Radical RevLa