Giving What You Don't Have

As a woman we must remember
to take care of ourselves first

I noticed that the older I get the more centered on my own life I become. Not for obvious reasons such as increasing in age. Friends and families dying. Retiring and empty nest syndrome. None of those things are the reason. What I discovered is that my source of pouring out my essence has come to an end. Why you ask? Simply because I have no more to give. Like the caption in the picture above I must refill. I have no more of myself to give.

As a woman we tend to pour ourselves out to everyone and everything. We keep giving and giving to we come to the place where we are drained and have nothing to give to ourselves. Many women find this out during their menopausal phase. They have given to their families, job, church, and any and everyone then suddenly realize that they are drained. Their body is going through a transition and they don't have anything within to pull from. Their tank is running on empty or close to it. Suddenly they are feeling depressed or overwhelmed or both.

What I found out about myself during this period was that I just didn't want to give anymore. I wanted to stop and fill up. I didn't have a clue how to do that. I am a giver by nature as I feel most women are. I didn't know where to look for my guidance to obtaining the essence I so needed in my life. Then I just prayed. Asking God to direct me in this phase and show me how to replenish my inner waters. I had to make changes. Certain things and people had to be removed from my life. I had to remain connected with my source which is Christ Jesus.

I had to just say "no" to things that I did all of the time. I had to place my primary focus on myself. This was hard at first and I had to constantly remind myself that I was my own best friend. I had been friends with everyone but myself. As I concentrated on what made me happy and peaceful I felt my waters begin to increase. I knew that the only way that I could truly give to others was to make sure that my living water tank was full to overflow. This way I would have enough to give and not neglect myself. Obedience to God's word and ways was better than any sacrifice that I could ever give.

Ladies God does not want us to give so much of ourselves until we cease to live. Our life is just as important as any person that we are giving our essences out to. Our love ones would not be happy if we cease to live because we have nothing left. Once I discovered this then I knew that I have to make changes from the way I was eating to the time spent in sitting at the feet of Christ. I can say no and not feel bad. I can tell someone when they are mistreating me or taking advantage. I have reduced my stress.

Can I say that all is well with the world? No not just yet but my tank tends to overflow more now and I can give without hurting me. I can feel when I've given too much and then I pull in and rest. I know that I'm not all the way I should be yet but I'm closer than I have ever been. I can say that I am getting to the point where I will be in constant overflow.

This is a great feeling because you are in balance. You are doing a natural flow of life. You are giving and receiving in the proper way. You begin to live for yourself. You seek God's direction for your life and then follow it. You add to the world instead of decreasing to a point that being yourself does not matter. I've always said that if you are not living for yourself then who is living for you? No one!!! God didn't create each one of us and allow us to be a unique individual so that our unique selves are not included in the world. 

We are given gifts that no one else have and we have to decide to grow and live in our own unique way. Don't give out yourself until there is nothing left. We are all needed to make the body of Christ work. Yes we must give but also must receive. We receive our needs from the Lord and it is by His love, strength and direction will our inner waters will always increase and be full. When those waters are so full that they overflow then give all you want. It will not hurt you because your inner waters are full to the brim in Him.

Ladies love yourselves and seek the counsel of the Lord daily. Fill your cistern and that vessel will remain full. Keep it full then allow it to overflow. That overflow is for those who God has led you to give it to. Everyone that asks does not need your living water. Make your life count and be your own mentor, coach, and best friend. 

As Radical RevLa always states you got to love me and I got to love myself as well.  

Embrace The Change

Change is coming might as well enjoy it!!!

I have been waking up for the pass three months and notice that something is about to happen. I'm not sure what it is but I can say this everything that I have grown accustom to is about to change. I thought that maybe it was because I'm getting more vintage ( nice way of saying old...ha,ha,ha). Or maybe my focus is in another direction. Still again my life as I had known it to be would change and I have one of two choices: embrace the change....or hide my head in the sand and cry over what can not be prevented.

For over four decades I have been working outside of my home. I have worn so many hats that my head just learned how to adjust at once to whatever hat I needed on. A wife, mother, preacher, nurse, author, candle stick maker...(ok no candlestick maker but it felt like it at times). I knew that one day there would come a time that I would have to come home. That thought was great but I also knew myself so certain things were put into place to hold me while I adjusted to working at home. As you see I never intended to stop working just working in a different way.

When I thought about this day I would just laugh and think "its really a long time away". But let me explain to you about reality...no matter how we fantasise one day reality just opens the door and walks in. He doesn't care if he has an invitation or not. He's coming and you will have to deal with it one way or another. So each morning now reality and I have a fight. Most mornings it will proceed as follows:

Me: Oh dear God ...reality not you again

Reality: the top of the morning to you....face it I'm here to stay

Me: reality I'm cool with change but not yet. I have somethings I need to do and I'm not ready to change just yet. Give me....maybe a year or two...then I will be ready

Reality: Sorry no can do....changing things as we speak...you better hop on board or get left in the dust

Me: reality this sucks...big time...I'm going to have to think about it.

Reality: whatever ....changing things as we speak. Oh yea did I tell you that things as you have always known it to be will start making you very uncomfortable...thought I would give you a heads up.

Me: thanks reality...you have been so reallllllllll.

Reality: peace out ....see you soon one way or another. Oh yea we can do this the easy fun way or....we can do it the hard way....either way its going to happen.

And it did everyday change has taken place at a pace that has my heading spinning. Things I thought was written in stone no longer make sense or apply. Things that I thought I couldn't do without is ...how can I say it....OUT!!!

I was becoming slightly depressed. You see I am one of those people who like things to stay the same no matter what. I would never change my home unless pushed to. Then when I'm pushed I end up loving it. So I can feel God doing just that. Placing me in situations where I have no other choice but to change. As He is moving me in that direction I find that I'm loving the change. Now I'm getting to a point where I'm wanting the change. In fact I can say that I can't wait for the change...(ok that went too far but I'm getting there). From what I can see is that at the age of 59 going into 60 I will finally arrive at who I thought I was when I was in high school. Really I am coming back to the dreams that I had for me then. Being the person that I wanted to be then now.

So really RevLa what are you saying? Just this if you allow the changes to come with an anticipation of something wonderful is coming then you will never stop growing. Next never stop achieving the goals of your life. Reach back into your youth and go after those dreams that you put on a back burner while you were just trying to make it. Does that mean if you always wanted to be a basketball player that at age 60 you can attempt to try out for the NBA? No again face reality but can you help coach a youth basketball team so that those kids can reach that level in life and you had a direct hand in it.

I am so happy and at peace with my approaching birthday in the next two months. I will get to retire from my day job at the age of 59 and embrace my brand new life on my 60th birthday. I'm not sure all that God has in store for me right now but I do now it will be great, exciting, difficult and fun. I'm ready mentally as I can be but I will have to get my body ready....ha,ha,ha (as I said it will be difficult).

So plan on hearing more from me as I make my transition. Look for all the new tasks I have on my plate. Be ready to read my first great American novel....( have to think big!)
And most of all welcome the new and improve Radical RevLa
What can I say:
Gotta to Love Me....no really you do...God said so!!!

Radical RevLa: In Defense of the Black Lady

The Black Woman
There is nothing wrong with being strong


I am a strong Black Lady. A woman of color. A well educated Afro-American Lady. I come from  a family of proud, independent, self-sufficient, and very beautiful Ladies.  Most of all we are God loving and God fearing woman. Brought up to establish a true relationship with Lord Jesus and walk in His Light in all that we do. So what's the big deal?

Black Women are labeled before we walk into a room. We are seen as the angry black woman. Always standing somewhere with our hands on our super large hips or with one on the hip and the other waving that finger that helps us get our point across. While there is really nothing wrong with that image. As a black woman we should not feel bad for some common things that we do however the world automatically thinks that we are all this way. Really if you look at what most black women have to endure day in and day out they have a fair right to be angry.

We are last on the list of people in the human race. We are told that we are not pretty, too fat, too dark, or too light. Our hair is called nappy and unattractive or we all wear weave. We have big breast, big butts, and wide hips. We don't have a brain. We live to slave for a man. We are just not worth the effort. It doesn't matter how much education we have. How long and curly our hair is. How beautiful our skin is. Or how curvy our shapes are we are never considered good enough.

We are laughed at and talked about. Where it comes to the church we are used to build, hold up, and do the work of church building. We fry chicken, fish, turkey and anything we can to sell and make dinners that would make your mouth water. We do this over and over to bring in money for the pastor's dreams of the building fund. We bake, have clothing drives, candy sells and tee shirt fund raisers and before you know it the church travels from the red color of debt to the black balance of debt freedom for God's house. Then after all of their back braking work the church is now growing and money is coming in the pastor would get up and give a sermon on how we are not going to build the church on chicken dinners.

Really pastor is that not how you got the church to its present stability? If these black sisters did not work and give it all that they had your church would still be in the dream stage. We are not given credit for just being who we are. The real us "Ladies". Yes world that's who we really are. Top notched ladies. Smart and hard working. Problem solvers. Faithful and resourceful. Kind and I repeat Kind and Smart. We have run households on no money. We have worked several part-time jobs and sent our children to college. We have started multi-million dollar businesses doing everyday things.

Many black female ministers can preach and teach with the best of them. Many live the word instead of just talking about the word. Many run their churches and households efficiently and never miss a beat. They remain faithful and loyal wives to their husbands and will defend them while fighting for what their spouse's believe in. We have raised the majority of the people of this world regardless of color or nationality. We are so strong that some don't understand that we do hurt, we do cry, we do feel , but we shake it off and keep on going. The majority of us live to raise and love our children in the way of Christian living and attempt to teach them good morals as well as academics.

So world in our defense give us a break. Let us be treated as who we are kind and loving ladies. We have a heart that I feel is very close to God and we are shunned by our own as well as the other races of the world. Stop and look at the contributions made by the black women and then start giving her the respect that she has coming to her. Not only that get another picture of how the true black lady looks and acts. Most of us might be angry  but we still go on doing what's needed and painting that smile on as we push our way to victory regardless of how we are treated.

Give us a break and lots of love we worked hard for it. We are not begging or asking because as you can see even without your respect we still continue to live our lives to the fullest.
All this coming from little radical me!!!
A Black Lady of God

Radical Mary: I know not a man

I know not a man

Talk about being a radical woman who could top Mary?
She was the ultimate. This young girl was presented with a task that I know many of us could never handle. She was told that she was going to be the mother of the King of Heaven.
What an honor? What a job? What pressure?
As a black girl I would say that this girl had "Heart" but as the Jewish girl that lives inside of me I would say that this girl had "Chutzpah"!!!
She had to have this inner strength because the job she was saying yes to could cause her to loose everything including her life. She would be a disgrace, the joke of the town and cause her family tremendous shame.
Not only that her husband could have her stoned if he chose to.
Yet this radical woman simply said yes to her calling without hesitation.
OK Ladies I think we should just stop right here and give this lady a standing ovation because
lets get real personally I think I'm a strong woman you know radical and all that but
really ladies when faced with stones being throw at me all at once from the whole town and all I could do was stand and take it......well that's just not going to happen. I would have to decline and take my chicken self back to the coop. So with great respect I thank this Radical Woman of God.

You see according to the ancient Jewish wedding customs Mary was married legally.
According to the wedding customs during those times Mary's father chose her husband. She did have the right to say yes or no. Once she said yes then they entered into the first part of the marriage agreement. The couple drank a cup of wine signed a paper and they were considered married. However they would not live together as man and wife at this time. If we were to compare this part of the marriage to what we do now it would be as if they were engaged except they were legally considered married and would have to have a divorce to end the relationship.
Mary would be left at her parents home until her husband finished building the home and obtaining the provisions etc. She would be looked at as a married virgin.
Mary clearly understood her current situation but once God's angel announced what she was asked to do
Mary never hesitated. She humbly accepted her task and never once doubted God.
She was a quiet powerhouse....ready to handle whatever her husband or the town had to throw at her including rocks if need be.
 
You see Joseph had the right to have her stone because she would be perceived as committing adultery. She would be looked at as soiled and being that they were legally married for all intense purposes she had stepped out of the covenant and became with child. Still knowing all of this she did not hesitate and said so be it. Who other than she could have that type of courage. Knowing that none of this would make sense to anyone? She still stood strong and took the job. Think about this. She had to face her parents, her husband, her town and her rabbi. She would be the talk of the town if she didn't get stoned first and she still said yes.
Could I have done this? Even with all of my faith I'm not sure that I would be that brave.
OK sidebar: I was really trying to be good but lets face it....its just not in me..so I'm going to get real
with all of my faith and yours and your sister and brother's faith I couldn't have done this at all!!!
What can I say confession is good for the soul...alright back to the lesson!!

Let us look at what Mary was being asked to do.
According to Luke 1 God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth a town in Galilee to a virgin who had been pledged
to Joseph a descendant of David. That virgin's name was Mary.
The angel greeted her and said these words
"you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
The scripture goes on to say that Mary was troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting was that. Gabriel went on to assure her not to be afraid.
Stop: visual aid...it is stated that the smallest angel is approx. 10 feet tall. Now we are talking about Gabriel here who was one of God's archangels so I'm assuming that Gabriel was three times as big as the smallest angel
(again all of this is my own opinion)
so he was expecting her to be afraid of him and he said to her do not be afraid.
However the picture that I want you ladies to see is that it was never stated that Mary showed any fear. She just listened. It wasn't his size or enormous presence it was his words his greeting. She was such a strong lady.
 Gabriel would never had to say to me "do not be afraid" I would have taken one look at this 30 foot man/angel and ran as fast as lighting or just passed out cold.

He went on to say "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
Radical Mary never missed a beat she just looked at the real picture and stated the obvious.
"How will this be, since I am a virgin?" This girl was looking at the real deal. She knew that she had never had sex and lets face it that's the only way that we know how to get pregnant.
Gabriel answered with an explaination. He said"The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. For nothing is impossible with God". Mary's entire life as she knew it was about to change and who really would believe that one night she went to bed a virgin and woke up pregnant without having sexual intercourse?

Our girl didn't skip a beat she quietly said "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said". Then at that point the angel left her.
Mary's radical decision saved our lives. Mary's pure honest nature found favor from God. Mary set the tone for women like myself to just follow God in faith and never worry about what people would say about you. Now that was Mary's beginning with her Heavenly King child, but its more to this woman then just her beginnings. It has been said that its not how you begin but how you end. Let's see this woman who found favor from God that He made her the mother of the Holy One. Mary was one of the ladies that was at the foot of the cross when her innocent first born child was cruicified for our sins.
Sidebar visual: I was really trying to be good...but by now you know me...this must be said "Where were all the mighty disciples during this time? We see four women standing at the foot of the cross. Only John was there...good for you John you didn't punk out but what about the rest of the Jesus posse? The so called strong men..the leaders where were they? Only the ladies had heart/chutzpah. I'm not against men but really they need to get their act together and leave us alone. When we take a deep look at things they are not looking too good...enough said...back to the point..

As a mother I can not imagine standing and watching my child being tortured and killed for no reason. Just writing this now and just thinking about it I feel the tears coming.

According to John 19 it reads:
Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, and Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene..... When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son", and to the disciple, "Here is your mother".
Jesus looked down and saw the women at his side. He saw his precious mother leading the pack. She was not going to abandon Him. His last act of sonship to her was to make sure she was being taken care of. So He stated that John was now her son and she was now his mother. From that time to her death she stayed with John as his mother and he her son.
You also must remember that by then Mary had other children who were by her husband Joseph but she chose to live with this disciple whom Jesus picked for her.

Mary ended her days as she began them. Choosing righteousness over what the world would think or say. She was commited to her job and stood in faith to the end of her task.
She knew that many did not believe her or her Son. She knew the road would be hard and she would be ridiculed. She never once second guest God or what was told to her. Nor did she care that what she said or belive made her appear crazy. I can see why she found favor in God's heart. How many of us would have done the same thing in the same way?

I thank Radical Mary for being our example. Whenever things get tough for me as a woman in a man's religious world I think back to what she might have gone through and I give thanks to God that we had her. Without her there would be no salvation for us.
So in closing I must state this....when you look at it Mary's only job was to have a baby. That baby changed the world as we know it. Remember ladies if God calls you to do a job it matters not how big it is or how small it seems. You never know when a small task for God will impact the world forever.
If you are called and say "yes" then the only thing that matters is starting right and ending right.
  YOU BORE THE KING OF GLORY AND WE ARE SO GLAD YOU DID
WE THANK YOU
RADICAL MARY YOU WHO KNEW NO MAN BUT STILL SAID YES!!!